"The hair is the richest ornament of women." - Martin Luther
I'm not too sure whether you guys know, but I've been trying to grow my hair long and thick since taking out my hair extensions - a tedious two and a bit years of waiting for some lengthy, luscious, Pantene Pro-V locks. As most of you probably saw via facebook, all that anticipation only to have it butchered by a german friseur.
How to Destroy Someone's Hair 101
"So, what would you like done to your hair today?"
Great! She speaks english.
"Can I get a trim and just a tidy-up of my layers today? I don't want much off, I'm trying to grow my hair long".
"No worries! I'm just gonna get someone else to help you out today".
As I was getting my hair makeover, I drew out my Dr Phil book on Creating Your Life from the Inside Out and got completely engrossed in it. How cool am I?
"Now is the time to stop asking 'What if?' and truly make things happen". What a wise man.
About 20 minutes later, I hear the hairdresser say "Okay fertig".
Translation: Okay, done.
Lady grabs a mirror and places it behind my head.
OH. MY. GOD.
Literally, my hair was cut so that there was ONE layer ending about jaw length, and then another layer ending just under armpit length. They were blunt, clean, square layers.. or should I say, layer.
"Uhm, could you maybe blend the layers a bit more?"
"Ja, okay okay".
Snip snip snippity snip.
"Okay, fertig!"
Lady grabs a mirror and places it behind my head.
OH. MY. EFFING. GOD.
I now had TWO layers, one up to about ear length, the previous one at jaw length and the bottom one.
"Uhm, I don't know how to really explain it better.. I'm after gradual layers.. do you speak english?"
"Nein, nur ein Bisschen".
.. Great.
".. Could you maybe get someone who can speak English please?"
"Ja, okay okay".
Out comes the lady who I spoke to first off. Her face, I kid you not, was probably in more shock than mine had been. Basically, she took a look at my hair and her jaw literally dropped. Without saying much to me, she ushered away the other lady, took out her own scissors and started snipping at my hair some more. Now, when you cut hair, obviously the hair gets shorter and shorter. By the time she had finished, yes the layers were more blended in, but literally, the top hairs are now a fingers-length. Did someone say mullet? Mm, yeah. About 20 people or so.
Box-fringed Dork
I have had two haircuts in one.
I have involuntary short hair.
I have a 'stylish' mullet.
I have a box fringe.
Dude, I have horrible luck, that's what I have.
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