Slam Your Barbecue Down and Weiners All Around

"I bring to my life a certain amount of mess".

If you know me well enough, you'll know that I am the most uncoordinated person to walk this Earth. Although I've lived nearly 22 years in this body, I'm still not use to all its dimensions and still manage to be.. awkward. I place cups a little too forcefully on tables, I miss steps on the staircase, I constantly knock things over and I'm just overall clumsy in every single way. Don't you think it's almost un-asian of me?

Please, don't learn safety rules simply by accident.

I feel like I've almost replaced every single piece of crockery in my kitchen. I've had to buy two new bowls, a measuring cup, a boiling pot, and a glass.

“There are no accidents. God's just trying to remain anonymous.”

Actually the other day, one of the worst of them happened. I walked into the bathroom and, well, kind of just threw the door open. The door them bumped into Stefan's toiletries shelf a little too turbulently and down came tumbling his cologne bottle. BAAAAAAAM!!!

"They're funny things, accidents. You never have them till you're having them."

".... Stefan, you're gonna hate me!", I yell out to him.

"Oh no Cat, what did you do?"

"Uhm.." *Breathe in, breathe out* "I may just have knocked over your cologne bottle.... sorry sorry sorry sorry!!!"

"Ohhh Cat. It's okay. Our bathroom stinks now though. Pew!"

So that was that. The next day I felt so bad about it that I went to Douglas (something like our 'David Jones') and tried on every single male cologne I could find to see which one smelt a lot like the one I slaughtered but couldn't recognise it at all - probably due to the fact that I was just drenched in 30 or so different smells by now but nevertheless, unsuccessful. I decided to get him David Beckham's 'Signature', which I'm just CRAZY about. Boys, I highly recommend it!

Break, I mean Bend it like Beckham.

The most impressive of all my heavy-handedness occurred at Gamze's Birthday BBQ. Usually I don't feel embarrassed when these things happen but this was an exception. In other words, this accident was on a grand scale - even for me.

Barbecues here in Germany aren't like the ones we have at home. They're either really small coal fire ones or an electric plate. So for Gamze's birthday they had set up an electric grill which means that there were cords lying around on the floor. And I think you guys can all guess as to what happened next. Me and my clumsy foot, tripped over the cord and sent sausages and meat flying in the air and eventually laying rest on the balcony floor. Sigh.

There are 3 things that made this worse than it sounds:

• Everyone was to bring their own meat, and so if your meat happened to be on the plate when I knocked it over, you were to starve for the afternoon;
• The meats were almost done and everyone had waited so painstakingly long in hunger; and
• I didn't even know anyone there besides Gamze and Johnny and their partners.

Needless to say, I left soon after.

Gamze, I hope your Birthday was 'Happy' anyway!